Happy birthday, Virginia!! I hope you had a wonderful weekend, despite it being so hot.
I dropped some art off at the Gage Art Academy this weekend, to be considered at a small works exhibition. The exhibition is happening at their Drawing Jam, on September 6th.
I don’t prepare my drawings to be displayed, so figuring our pieces to submit was challenging. At first, I had this whole new piece worked out, that would be five separate drawings that when put together, formed this 6th mega drawing. But, I ran out of time. My day job has been a lot this year.
Instead, I went through old pages from my last book and prepared these to be submitted (but only after a lot of validation from my partner, Olivia). These “pieces” were never meant to be art, but meant to be tools to be digitized and formatted into a comic. But, they are kinda neat by themselves. It was fun choosing them and framing them.
Pretty neat 🙂 Figuring out self publishing has been a trip this year. I didn’t expect the formating or research to take as long as it did. But, I’m glad I did it.
I thought I had the gods pretty well thought out for Enter Cedar, but I’m finding that there are some nuances I didn’t quite flesh out. And that’s becoming problematic, as the story I’m writing now is having more interactions with the gods.
And sometimes, I use words because they sound cool…like, what did I mean by the “Original Phantasms”? Now I’m having to justify it…It’s annoying.
Look, you can even buy it as a sticker…
The series has also reached a point where I’m writing a new thing and I think to myself “oh, shit, what did they say in that scene”, and I’m having to reread parts, or reference something. And I don’t have a great setup to reference things. Do I need a wiki?
I might enjoy writing weekly wiki articles more than writing blog posts.
Happy Birthday, Cosima 🙂 I hope today was wonderful 🙂
I’ve been very silent on this blog. Formatting and learning about self publishing took more time and effort than I thought. At the same time I’ve been trying to finish my 2024 project, “Where the Highway Meets the Corridor”. The 2024 project is about done, I just got some wonderful feedback from a friend who beta read it. So I’ll be making some updates. Thanks Lucy 🙂
But, the bulk of my focus these last 6 months has been self publishing. And the bulk of that focus has been deciding “should I?”. I didn’t really start the Imbibe Universe with an idea of self publishing. I didn’t even start it with print books in mind. I think discovering that Barnes & Noble offers a self publishing, print-on-demand option helped a lot. I don’t have an Amazon account, and I’ll take any chance I can to avoid giving money to the top dog. I would be saying something different when B&N was putting local book shops out of business.
The last 6 months has been formatting, exporting, proof reading, more formatting, learning about ISBN’s, making decisions, and journaling about the concept of arrogance and the idea of being worthy of removing one’s ideas out of their electrical mass of meat and placing them in the public. It’s scary.
Even now, as I draft this post, I’m looking at the button in the B&N module that says “Put On Sale” and I’m rethinking my decisions.
Ultimately, I don’t think I found some single word or piece of reason or logic that convinced me that I was worthy of moving forward with publishing. I think I defaulted to my normal modus operandi, which is the gut feeling that there’s a limited number of hours in a life time, and the reality that unless you do the work, those ideas disappear.
Which, now I know, is anxiety. Anxiety drives me. Always has. Always been there. Thankfully therapy helps. Therapy and writing things out.
So, thanks for reading through that anxiety with me. You’ve enabled me to press that “Put On Sale” button, and the first 4 books of the Imbibe Universe are now for sale. “Where the Highway Meets the Corridor” will drop next. And then “Post-Apathy” later this year.
These books are also paired with a selection of stickers available through Redbubble. It’s been a fun 6 months.
It’s funny, I put a bunch of time into creating these model sheets, but my style and ambition changed pretty significantly. It was still good to get these looks out, even though I’m now illustrating in grayscale, and I keep having to ask myself “which shade is Robert’s beard?” and “does Samantha have shorts or stockings?”. You’ll note that originally, Robert and Patrick were brothers. They are no longer in the series I’m producing now.
In my earlier writing, celestial higher beings were benevolent and kind and all-knowing. The older I get, the more they’ve become alien and unknowable and horrific. Horrific in the sense of never knowing or understanding these higher beings.
Celestial horror for me is a mix of the impossibility of establishing communication (Orson Scott Card’s Descoladores) the cosmic unknowable (H. P. Lovecraft’s Cosmicism), topped with a bureaucracy that is crushing and insurmountable (Douglass Adam’s Hitchhikers Guide).
I’m sure not all of that communicates in these, but I’m working on it. These are the beings that Zenith calls to Earth in This Bitter Earth.
This guide is to be used in interviews for potential testers of Total Virtual Reality (TVR.
Interviewer: Welcome to TVR Debugr Training! We’re glad you’re here. What’s that you ask? How do you know this isn’t a TVR simulation? I’m glad you asked! QUESTION: Do you believe in god(s)? Y/N? – If yes: Do you believe in a kind god(s) or malevolent god(s)? – If no: congratulations! You have been offered conditional employment as a TVR Debugr! – If kind god(s): why do they allow bad things to happen (Multiple Choice)? 1) Because we need bad things for a believable simulation = REJECT CANDIDATE 2) Because god(s) are testing us = REJECT CANDIDATE 3) Good point, if I were god(s), I would make a better simulation = ACCEPT CANDIATE – If malevolent gods(s): congratulations! You’ve been offered a position in our live simulation validation division; where you continuously validate that all bad things happen for verifiable reasons, thus validating that no bad things happen because of the choice of malevolent god(s), thus proving this reality is not a simulation. Interviewer: At Absolution Corp, we continuously validate that our reality is the prime, so you can rest easy, knowing that your work is fulfilling, rewarding and most important of all; REAL!
“The purpose of life is to consume the energy of the Grand Producer. Creatures who learn to cultivate the Grand Producer inherent the Mantle of Domination. We are not here to witness the universe, but to imbibe it.
The Eruenik Race is one such creature. In our vast and expansive travels of space, we are the only creature we have found with such a holy appetite.
But these hairless apes, they do as we do. They cultivate and they dominant. They elevate their imbibement of the Grand Producer to an intelligent level.”
Excerpt from Daily Logs of Absolution Values Agent Pakasha Aggregated First Contact Logs, Earth
I started this new comic out with creating a personal “cheat sheet”, a style guide detailing what I want from this comic. It lays out both the analog and digital steps, along with the weekly schedule, how value relates to color, how I want hands illustrated, and how ink wash should work.
